The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly of Relationships: Part II

In Part 1 I posted six ways you can help, hurt, or destroy your relationships.  Whether the relationship is friendship, marriage, or parent and child this should help you see where you are and where you would like to be.  I hope it's a help and blessing.

7.) The Response of a friend/spouse/parent & child:

The Good: Conquer - 1 John 1:8, James 5:16, Prov. 24:16 This person admits and views their PERSONAL faults, failures, and sins.  Therefore they can conqueror their faults, failures, and sins (with GOD'S help).

The Bad: Coward - This person runs from truth.  He/She avoids Godly advice.  This person knows her/his personal faults, failures, and sins however they do not admit them or hear the truth.

The Ugly: Victim - Admits no wrong, no sin, no faults, no failures.  When others try to help; this person considers it as "an attack". This person presents it as persecution. 

8.) The Listening skills of a friend/spouse/parent or child:

The Good: Listener - This person listens to what and how something is being said.  This friend considers what was told to them, and understands before they blurt out advice. 
Prov. 4:1-4

The Bad: Hearer - This "friend" only hears what she wants to.  She does not

consider it or try to understand.  She/he gives their option and not biblical counsel.

The Ugly: Talker - This person is consumed with their self.  They talk only about situations, and circumstances that effect them.  They do not take time to hear or listen to their friend's needs.

9.) The Confidence of a friend/spouse/parent or child:

The Good: Trustworthy - Prov. 25:19, Prov 12:23 This person isn't a gossiper or judgmental.

The Bad: Talebearer - Prov 11:13 This person tells what they know.  Is not loyal to their friend.

The Ugly: Liar - Prov 6:12-15, Prov 11:9; Prov 12:20-22 This person lies about others, to make herself/himself or circumstances appear better than others.

10.) The Humility of a friend/spouse/parent or child:

The Good: Humble - Prov 12:1, Eph 4:2-3

The Bad: Self-righteous - This person doesn't remember where they were, they just judge people from where she/he is now.

The Ugly: Self-Exalted - This person thinks highly of oneself.  Gal 6:3, Prov 26:12, 
Prov 27:1,2 Prov 12:9

11.) The Compassion of a friend/spouse/parent or child:

The Good: Compassionate - Gal 6:1-2 She/He gives Grace, Patience to others. Love for others.

The Bad: Critical - This friend has a negative spirit.  Critical of a person rather than helpful.

The Ugly: Judgmental -Judges other's motives. 

12.) The Communication of a friend/spouse/parent or  child:

The Good: Godly Communication Prov. 13:3

The Bad: Foolish Communication Eph 5: 3-8 Loud, Silly, Clamorous 

The Ugly: Wicked Communication This person stirs up trouble with his/her tongue. Double tonged at times. 


These were just twelve points God gave me to share with my mentor girls.  God knew they needed to strengthen their friendships by strengthening what type of friend they were.  I saw growth in these young ladies as they allowed the Lord to examine their hearts.  I often reflect on this lesson to strengthen my relationship with my husband.  It's not easy admitting you are mostly The Bad, and some of The Ugly in the relationship.  But I do strive to be The Good.

The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly of Relationships Part I

This is a lesson I taught, in the past, to my "mentor" girls.  The application was for the friendship relationship.   However my husband, took the main thought, and with a twink here and there applied it to the marriage relationship.  As I was re-evaluating this lesson I decided it could be comparable to all our relationships.  My purpose, for sharing this, is so we can strengthen our relationships with our family and friends.  I've divided my points up into 3 different categories: 

1.) The mindset of a friend/spouse/parent:
The Good - Spiritual Minded        The Bad - Double Minded   The Ugly - Carnal Minded

If you are Spiritual minded you are focus on God's Will for your life and your friends/spouse/child's life as well.  You will encourage them to accomplish great things for the Lord. The double minded person is a person who shares thoughts of the world with thoughts of the Lord.  The carnal minded person thinks only of oneself.
NOTE: * Your mindset will be based on your beliefs, standards, values, priorities, etc.

2.) The Prayer Life of a friend/spouse/parent:
The Good - Prayerful Person - This person prays in detail for friend's needs, their burdens, their lost family, etc.
The Bad - 1/2 Hearted Prayers - This person will throw up their friend's name to God but not details of their needs.
The Ugly - Prayerless - This person prays only for what he/she wants.
* You will pray earnestly for the ones you love. *

3.) The Love of a friend/spouse/parent:
The Good - Unconditional love - Proverbs 17:17
The Bad - Conditional love - This person will show love if you show love back.
The Ugly - Hate - They have no love for their friend *only self*
*Love is not wavered by any offence a friend may make, or do.

4.) The Forgiveness of a friend/spouse/parent:
The Good - Forgiveness - A friend will give the GIFT of forgiveness without needing their friend to ask for it.
The Bad - Conditional forgiveness - This person will forgive if the other has "repented"
The Ugly - Unforgiveness - This person never forgives but ALWAYS remember the wrong

5.) The Influence of a friend/spouse/parent:
The Good - Positive Influence - The Shudmite woman is a perfect example. She influenced her husband to build a room for "the man of God".  If you are a positive influence you will influence those around you to do good for the Lord, based on bible doctrine.
The Bad - Negative Influence - This person influence based on option, world's advice, world's acceptance and standards.  Not based on Bible principals.
The Ugly - Manipulation - This person influences others for oneself, to get what one needs or desires.
*This is a subject I will blog about soon. Manipulation is not restricted to wives manipulating their husbands, but parents manipulating children, as well as church members manipulating the Pastor. It is a cruel tool of the devil to get his agenda passed, leaving disaster in the wake.

6.) The Devotion of a friend/spouse/parent:
The Good - Giver - Acts 20:35 This person gives love, time, help. They invest in their friend/spouse/child.
The Bad - Taker - This person does not give love, time or help.  They TAKE the love, time, help from their friend.
The Ugly - Demand - This person does not give love, time, or help but expects their friend to cater to their needs and wants.  This person demands attention when needed.
* Note: Notice I used the word Devotion and not Loyalty. These are two different things.  Devotion is what a person will bring to the relationship.  Loyalty is allegiance, consistence,  and steadfastness.
  I have six more points to share with you on the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly of relationship but I'll save them for next weeks blog.  I do hope you will honestly evaluate your relationships so you can build stronger homes, marriages, and friendships.   The stronger our relationships are the less likely the devil can destroy them.  I have seen, like never before, relationships attacked by the evils of Hell.  Friendships, Marriages, Relationships between parent and child destroyed so that God's work would be hindered.  Remember the motto: "United we stand, Divided we fall." Apply this not just to our nation, but churches, and homes.  If we do this, then we can accomplish so much the more for our Lord and Savior.  I truly hope this will help you as it has helped me in my relationships.

*Shout out to James and  Kim Martin. Kim delivered her beautiful baby today! I've not seen a picture of the baby yet, but I know she is beautiful, cuz her mama is gorgeous.  Congratulation to the Martin family!